The Internet's Worst

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 3: Personal context and character. Whoops, never mind. The books suck. Though, at least I now understand why Gerry constantly narrates to himself in the game: he does it all the time in the book. So why was this an “insane challenge?” Because it was a personal challenge. I typically play around 300 video games a year and yes, I am aware of how insane that seems. Usually, this means a game has to be exceptionally well made or fun to hold my attention for more than a few hours. I get bored easily. In truth, my 2 cohorts, Jo Stizzy and Rob had already beaten Witcher 3 and since I started in December, I wanted to bum-rush though the game before year’s end. So, why don’t I agree with them that it’s Game of the Year materiel? We have to go back to my play-through of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings. A middling-to-enjoyable action RPG, with goofy combat systems...

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 2; Sex, drugs, dodge and roll I’ve finally found some fun. In the game’s first major city, Noveria, shrinking down the map size, moving gameplay into the town streets and indoors, makes this more of a manageable RPG. Open-world as a gaming term has gotten out of control. Skyrim , at least, allowed you to fast-travel from anywhere outdoors. Dragon Age Inquisition , at least, had pithy party dialogue in between camps. The Witcher 3 has Gerry riding or running for miles and miles hoping to stumble upon a signpost. I’ve finally figured out the trick to combat: the crossbow. Roll away, shoot bolt. Roll away, shoot bolt. This turns every fight into a dance macabre, plunking away 5 damage at a time. Load up on potions and food. Meditate after every fight to avoid spending resources. Soon your inventory will be 50% raw meat and 50% water. Now you are the Wild...

So, I set a goal for myself: An insane challenge to beat The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt in under 1 month. Part 1: Holy shit, do I not care about your backstory. The characters are awful. The dialogue is terrible. Mumbly main guy Gerry just doesn’t give a fuck about anything. This makes the game so uninteresting to both play and watch. Skipping the dialogue and cut-scenes crashed the game. How much bias am I bringing back from the problems with the prequel: Assassins of Free Time? A lot. Perhaps I shouldn't have bought this game. But I’ll be the dissenting opinion because everyone is tripping over themselves to praise this thing. I’m a natural hipster: if a thing is popular, I question why. If a thing is not popular, I question why not. I care about personal experiences rather than letting someone else dictate all opinions. Thrust, parry, dodge, spin, drink water, and eat bread. The combat is the clumsiest thing I’ve seen since Buldur’s Fucking ...

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast returns! This episode, every major video game release of the fall gets debated and dissected: Halo 5: Guardians Need for Speed Fallout 4 Rise of the Tomb Raider Assassin's Creed: Syndicate Black Ops 3 and even more than that! Plus, Loki really hates Twitch streamers, Rob  debuts "The Indie Report," and Nick breaks down every Madden game ever. This holiday season, be grateful for: Ep 26: Thanksgaming

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast! Because why not? Loki , Rob and Stizzy return to talk about the Fall's latest game releases: Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection Star Wars Battlefront ( Beta ) Rock Band 4 The announcement of Far Cry Primal Plus, Loki professes his love for racing games, Stizzy claims to enjoy Dion and the Belmonts and Rob proves how much of a competitor he is. All that and more! Episode 25: Rocktober

The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast is back in action! The gang's all here! Join Loki , Rob and Jo Stizzy as they rejoin forces to discuss the serious topic of the possible impending video game voice-actor work strike.  Can our normally comedic crew handle the grim business of contract negotiations and money? Will the guys align with the union, or scab across the picket-line of bad opinions? Plus, a new feature, " The Best Games You Never Played !" We each try to bring up great older or obscure games that the other two never played or have heard of. Undersold downloadable titles from Rob PS1 Classics from Stizzy And last-gen gems from Loki . Enjoy today! Episode 24: Silent ReUnion My voice goes out with about 10 minutes left in the show. See if you can tell.

The Internet's Worst gaming podcast returns again as Rob rejoins the show! Join Loki and Rob as they recap the summer of games, with Batman: Arkham Knight , The Order 1886 , Life is Strange , Hotline Miami , Rocket League, Bloodborne and even more! Plus, Rob reviews indie games and we debate whether "indie" games still exist. This is part two of a multi-show update and recap for Internet's Worst. Contains major spoilers for Batman: Arkham Knight and The Order 1886 Episode 23b: Batman and Rob 

After 2 months off, The Internet's Worst gaming podcast returns! Join Loki and the returning Jo Stizzy as they discuss all things Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain . Gameplay, story, and more. Plus, a brief history of the Metal Gear franchise and a synopsis on Kojima Productions and Konami publishing's fallout. This episode is part one of a multi-show update and recap for Internet's Worst. Shows with Rob and Nick coming shortly. Contains minor spoilers for the first hour of Phantom Pain. Episode 23a: Metal Gear Stizzy Again, link may require download. Will move from Google drive hosting soon. 

The Internet's Worst returns!  Well, of them anyway. Loki Jarson swears this is the last time he will ever discuss From Software's masterpiece: Dark Souls . No, really, I mean it. Last time ever. Enjoy this special solo effort as Loki recants every bad thing he ever said about Dark Souls and heaps praise on it! For like, 20 minutes! Are those awkward pauses in speech a result of a stammer or poor editing?  You decide!  Episode Special: Loki Talks Dark Souls for Like 20 Minutes  note:Streaming may not be available, requiring a download. Thanks, Google drive.

Live! From the internet! It's E3 2015! Get the final word on the Electronic Entertainment Expo 2015 with The Internet's Worst gaming podcast! We break down the conferences and announcements by: Microsoft , Sony , EA , Ubisoft and more! Trailers, gameplay demos, pointless bits and lousy hosts! It's all here! And, just like E3 , this episode is filled with bad hosts, technical issues, and missing content! Enjoy now!  Episode 22: E3 2105 Show notes: this episode was recorded in 6 parts over 4 days. Skype, at times, was miserable to work with, so Stizzy was unavailable to record during the Sony conference segment. We also lost a significant amount of audio from the EA conference which I'll say here: 10 minutes of Pele talking about soccer is bullshit. We apologize for any convenience.

The Internet's Worst gaming podcast turns 21! Jo Stizzy talks The Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt .  Rob discusses beating Dragon Age: Inquisition . Loki speaks about Dark Souls (for the last time, I swear). Plus, we breakdown yet another breakdown in GTA V . Plus plus, a live game-play, 10 minute intro! Listen to us attempt to steal a  plane from a boat ! The waves crash as our audio wildly fluctuates!  Episode 21: Bewitched and Befuddled  

Episode 20 of The Internet's Worst Gaming podcast is casually late! We talk Steam and Bethesda's paid mod problem(that went away quietly).  Then, we discuss and debate on why there is so little communication in online games today.  This is a very casual, free-flow episode, with many references to old Xbox friends, but we (try to) keep it from being to esoteric.  Enjoy our least professional and most snarky episode yet! Episode 20 With Friends Like These 

Celebrate The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast first anniversary by listening to the latest show! Loki , Rob , and Jo Stizzy talk trailers. Star Wars , Batman vs Superman , Star Wars Battlefront , the new Guitar Hero preview and more! Plus, Stizzy breaks down Mortal Kombat X and dissects a new problem in video games: waiting in line. Then, Loki hates Netflix's Daredevil and Stizzy really hates people who like Dark Souls . Finally, we realize we've been around a year and look towards the future of The Internet's Worst. Look forward to more of the Worst in the coming months! Episode 19 Coming Soon  Note: The intro was recorded a month before the episode.

What's better than a new episode of The Internet's Worst Gaming podcast? An episode that's a week old! Join Loki , Rob , Stizzy , and returning guest Nick , as they look to the stars and our future. The future of Video Games. But first, the present: We talk Battlefield Hardline , indie horror title 1214 , GTA V 's new heist mode and we discuss if there will be any place to store these games on our tiny console hard-drives! Plus, the (at the time) shocking revelation that Hideo Kojima is leaving Konami ! With new and even louder music! Enjoy now and forever! Episode 18 The Future is Now  Show notes: Nick and I get in an argument about a dumb indie game, like almost yelling. I try to end the episode about 4 times before I just sigh and give up. Prepare your ears for the new music

Well, maybe not. Join Loki , Rob and Stizzy as they explore zombie games (and movies)! Is the market flooded? Saturated? Over-exposed to the zombie apocalypse? We talk: Techland's latest game,  Dying Light , plus:  Dead Island ,  The Walking Dead , Dead Rising , Dead Nation , Left 4 Dead ,  The Last of Us (who are dead) and much more!   Will the zombie video game menace overrun us all? Use your brains and listen to this episode to find out! Episode 17 Zomboys

Sort of! Join Loki Jarson and Jo Stizzy as they recount the fun and adventures (sort of) live from the Penny Arcade Expo 2015 in San Antonio, Texas! They talk panels, show floor sights and sounds, travel problems and much more! Plus, the intro has 2 recordings done live at PAX, right in the middle of the action! Enjoy, live in your ears today! Episode 16: Live from PAX South Things I(Loki) forgot to mention in the show: I only saw one Dangan Ronpa cosplayer. She was dressed as Hiyoko. I said hi. I offered a man dressed as Duke Nukem some gum, since he mentioned he was all out. I had to open the package for him, then said, "No problem, Duke." I said, "Nice jacket" to the first person I saw wearing the N7 hoodie that I was also wearing. Then I saw an hundred other people wearing it.  I may have overplayed the awkwardness of the Games Criticism panel a bit, but it was very uncomfortable sitting there live.  

No, that's not a description of your wonderful hosts but it's the newest episode of The Internets' Worst Gaming Podcast! Join Loki , Rob and Stizzy as they discuss and debate the worst, best, and most middle-ground video games of 2014 ! We waited until late January just to make sure everyone got a chance to play everything! This is our biggest , longest , loudest and most vulgar episode yet! 2 hours of video gaming bliss(?). Major releases, indie games, Japanese stuff you've never heard of, it's all here!  As February begins, say goodbye to 2014 in style! Enjoy now! Episode 15 Best of the Worst of 2014 Notes: some of the audio was too quiet, so I manually boosted the volume. Clipping issues remain. Protect your ears. 

Presenting a very special episode of The Internet's Worst Gaming Podcast! Listen in as the guys break down their favorite games ever of all time in our biggest episode ever! 2 hours of Loki , Rob , and Stizzy (and Nick kind of) discussing over 20 years of experiences in the video game world! Seminal classics from every generation! Indie titles you've never heard of! J-RPGs, Shooters, Action-Adventure, they're all here! Agree with their picks? Disagree? Me too! Enjoy today! Episode Special: The Best Games Ever Show notes: Loki had a horrible sore throat and contradicted himself several times. Stizzy, post-show, feels that he talked too much. Rob was falling asleep, as it was near 2am his time when we finished. Also, as you can imagine, editing this episode was a challenge. Several different recordings were used, so not all sound is balanced. I blame Skype for most of the background noise issues. Again, it is nearly two hours long, so gather up the ...